Sitting in the Tontine lobby bar, sipping on a crisp sauvignon blanc, something cool for this unusually hot day. I sit alone, but not lonely. I start reading a book about Julia Child's life in Paris, but only get a few pages in before I am inspired to pick up my notebook. The room has an old feel to it. Heavy curtains, pulled open to let the light in on this bright day. Simple, modern lighting hangs above. Old furniture, worn out leather. A few newer pieces interspersed among the old to give it a fresher look. Club chairs in rich greens and chocolate browns. Pink polka dot velvet couches flank the fireplace, one that likely boasts a roaring fire during the winter months. Brown and green striped carpeting, the kind that reminds me of decades long gone. It suits this place.
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| The Tontine Hotel -opened in 1808 |
I love people watching. Cyclists come in for a pint or two after a long day of riding. Guests staying at the hotel come down for dinner. They laugh heartily at something and it makes me smile. A mother chases after her toddler. Everyone is with someone. The plan had been to meet a "friend of a friend of a friend" in Edinburgh for dinner, but he ended up canceling at the last minute. The truth is, I was a bit disappointed, especially after having spent too many Saturday nights in my pajamas in front of the television lately. I couldn't do it again. The weather was perfect and I was already geared up for an evening out, so I decided to come to the neighboring town of Peebles. I strolled the high street, walked over the bridge and watched the river for a while. I window shopped, as most stores were already closed, and then found a place to spend the evening. That's how I came to be here in the lobby of the Tontine.
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| The Adam Room |
There is a beautiful dining room adjoining the room that I'm sitting in. It has its own name -The Adam Room. It has high ceilings and chandeliers but it is far from stuffy, exuding a classy yet casual vibe. I wonder if I will have the nerve to finally do it today -to dine alone. But given past experiences I have my doubts. It's one thing to order something in a lobby bar. It's casual, it's easy. I've eaten countless lunches at cafes with my laptop as my companion and breakfasted in coffee shops with my work files laid out. But to sit in a proper dining room -flowers, white table cloths- the only person dining alone; to leave my book in my bag and put my notebook away; to leave my phone untouched; to just enjoy my meal... that would be a first for me.
I know people do it all the time, but I'm just not one of those people. Even on the odd occasion when my work would take me to another city, I would rather order room service and read a book than dine alone. Married friends will tell me how nice it is to have a meal by themselves, a break from their routine with their partners. Moms will go even further, telling me what they wouldn't do to enjoy a meal in silence. I've come to realize those sort of comparisons are pointless, for each of us is having our own experience and what may seem like a dream for one person may be a dreaded experience for another. I've learned so much on this trip; traveling alone to an unfamiliar country has opened up many opportunities to push myself beyond my comfort zone. Each day I find myself making choices between that which is easy and familiar and an alternative that is a bit uncomfortable and foreign.
That's it. I'm doing it. I put my things in my bag and ask the hostess for a table near the windows...
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So, how did it go? I didn't check my email. I didn't read my book. I took a few pictures, then put my phone away. Instead, I stared at the mountains. I watched birds soar by. I listened to Frank Sinatra's sultry voice in the background, and I smiled.
Come fly with me. let's fly, let's fly away
If you can use, some exotic booze
There's a bar in far Bombay
Come on and fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away...
It reminded of my childhood, when my dad used to play his records. I had fallen in love with the lyrics, the melodies, the feeling of love and longing in his music.
My attention was drawn back to the present with the arrival of my dinner, a glass of cabernet and the Tontine Burger. It was delicious, perfectly cooked and flavorful, well deserving of the knife and fork with which I ate it. The service was impeccable, the staff friendly and attentive. A cool breeze blew past from a window just behind me. I watched the other diners, and I didn't freak out just because I was alone. A older couple shared a bottle of wine at a window table. Three young women in jeans in t-shirts sat at a table behind me, likely having just gotten back from a day of sightseeing. They chatted away like old friends. A man and woman came in wearing matching motorcycle jackets and sat at their reserved table with the champagne bottle chilling. I sipped on my wine and felt content as I sat with my thoughts:
I am in Scotland, on a Saturday night, dressed up and having dinner by myself in a nice restaurant. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and I am fine. In fact, I'm better than fine. I am happy.