Lost (and Found) in Translation

So, I've been here a few weeks now and I've picked up quite a bit of Scottish English in my time here. When I arrived, I was determined to learn the local culture so I wouldn't seem like that American -you know, the one who goes abroad and expects everything to be, sound, and feel like it is back home. In my efforts to better understand my surroundings, I'm pretty sure I ended up asking some inane-sounding questions.

This is how it would generally go. I would hear a word or phrase that I either didn't understand or that seemed out of context. Then I would find an unsuspecting victim and ask, "sooooo, when you say [insert confounding word/phrase], what exaaaaactly do you mean by that?" I've also added some words used in everyday lingo here. Just in case you find yourself in Scotland for the first time, here's a compilation of all the mental notes I took:

An American Gal's Mini-Guide to Understanding Scottish

1. Aye. Pronounced like "eye". You'll here this pretty much all the time because it means: yeah, yes, yup. 
2. Cheers! For weeks, as I would say my "thank you" to the bus driver when I would get off at my stop, inevitably there would be someone saying "cheers!" Then the first couple of times I went out to eat, I would hear patrons say this to their servers as they left the restaurant. I had incorrectly assumed the parties were familiar with one another. It turns out the word is informally used as both "thank you" and "good bye." 
3. Coos. "Have you seen our coos yet?" she asked. I was silent. I feebly replied, "I don't think

   

   Coooooooooo!

   so."Then we drove by some and she pointed them out, saying, "Oh, they're absolutely lovely."  OHHHHHH, cows!
4. To Let. When I first arrived in the Borders I kept seeing these "To Let" signs above various shops. I kept thinking they read, "Toilet." (Okay, so this one I just read wrong.) I figured it was for the wandering out of towners -you know, like in India, where they have signs above shops reading, "A/C here". I finally realized they said To Let, as in a room to let out in exchange for payment.
5. Chuffed. Sounds like someone's really pissed off, but it means you're really thrilled about something. "I'm so chuffed to see the sun out again."
6. Tea. (This one seems more common in rural towns than in the larger cities.) When my new Innerleithen friend had suggested one day that I come over for tea on the upcoming Saturday, I gladly accepted.  She had mentioned on several occasions how she likes to have her tea earlier than most people, but I didn't give it much thought, thinking five in the evening was perfect chai time. When I arrived, I could smell something delicious on the stove. I was offered wine, not tea.  I connected the dots and finally realized all those times she was talking about dinner! So what does one say if you just want to invite someone for a cup of tea? See 7.
7. Cuppa. It means a cup of tea. As in, "would you like a cuppa?" The "tea" part is implied, but I still want to ask, "cuppa what?"
8. Lemonade -If you want a 7-Up or Sprite, just ask for a lemonade. If you want the drink that's usually made from lemons, sugar and water, you need to specify an old-fashioned lemonade. 
9. Neeps and Tatties. A very common side dish combo. Turnips ("neeps") and potatoes ("tatties"). 
10. Pudding. Now this one really threw me for a loop. I love pudding, especially chocolate pudding. Any time I ate out, the server would ask at the end of the meal if I had any room for pudding. The first time I just said, "I would love to, but I'm stuffed, thank you." By the third time I heard this question (had Bill Cosby and his J-E-L-L-O commercials infiltrated the country?), I was starting to wonder about the Scots' obsession with p-u-d-d-i-n-g. I finally asked a Scottish friend to explain. Turns out it just refers to the dessert course; it can refer to a tart, cheesecake, even ice cream!
11. Piece. When I was first asked if I'd like a piece, I did some zombie stare while racking my

    

    A cheese and pickle piece with crisps.

    brain for an alternative definition filed away somewhere. I think I finally said, "Piece? Piece of what?" It's a sandwich. A common quick midday meal is a pickle and cheese "piece". Oh, and pickle isn't referring to what we Americans think of as pickles. The leading brand, Branston Pickle, is a sweet and tangy chutney-like condiment, with small pieces of vegetables.
12. Chips and Crisps. Craving some chips with that sandwich? Make sure you know your chips from your crisps. If you're craving American chips, you need to order crisps. If you order chips here, you'll end up with a side of fries!
13. Pants. Yeah, you'd think this was pretty self-explanatory, but I made the mistake of thinking it meant the same here as it does back home. Apparently, the word "pants" is used here to casually refer to underpants! Imagine my embarrassment when my son's 11-year old went home to change out of his rain-drenched shorts and I say to him, "oh, good, you're wearing pants now." I wondered why he giggled to his mom (sorry, mum), but now I know. Adding "trousers" to my when-in-Scotland list!